Long Time

The light is finally at the end of the tunnel for Myles! But the saying, 'The night is darkest just before the dawn' rings truer than ever. I find myself waiting for college as a cure-all answer to my problems. I know it definitely won't be, but any of my immediate problems are trivial and can be solved by the meager satisfactions supplied by college life. My life has been at a standstill for these 2 years now and I can't wait to get moving again.

I have been dreaming every day for the past 6 days now. These dreams are all connected, in fact my last dream was basically Jacks Mannequin's Bruised within a subway station in NYC with some stranger. I don't know what is wrong with me right now, I really need some grounding in my life but definitely cannot get that from the life of a student living at home! I don't know how one can live a life at home and not experience college to the fullest. Personal growth has been limited to these long ass bike rides or runs that give me some sense of freedom.

I've gone down and visited a few colleges to see friends every so often, but that just makes me crave my own college experience even more! Everything about it, even down to the stupid keycard that gets you into the dorms! The wait for college acceptances is going to be long!

I really want to travel and get away at some point here, I don't know how viable of an option that will be for me but I'd love to do it sooner than later. Definitely with someone special, experiencing Europe was great with my friends but damn everything about Italy was so epic and it'd be so much better with someone. I have a secret obsession with the movie 'Jumper' because of this.

I'm still at this point of uncertainty, I don't know where that stability is in my life. I'm tired of experiencing this alone but nothing has satisfied me. I don't know what I want at all right now and I'm just hurting others because of it. It's been 2 years now and I can't find my footing, this is frustrating. I'm not really looking for it all that aggressively and I'm in no rush to find it i suppose.